Pride of Baltimore II

Almost a month has passed since my last entry. A moon has grown fat and drawn pale and small again. I have sanded, varnished, polished and sailed every day, loving the Liberty Clipper and respecting my work as a deckhand. Since writing, I have chosen to leave her for the north and a season as ship's cook with Pride of Baltimore II. It was a weird decision to make and I feel that even though it was the better choice, I lost a little bit of my dignity. There was a flush of shame and embarrassment in my cheeks during my last days in Key West. Even with my captain's encouragement and counsel, I knew not only was I leaving but I was leaving the Clipper in a short and awkward position; not really enough deckhands and needing to find a cook for their transit northwards. It was only once starting on my adventure towards Baltimore that I began to shine with the newness of what lay ahead.

I read this:
“Always in the big woods when you leave familiar ground and step off alone into a new place there will be, along with feelings of curiousity and excitement, a little nagging dread. It is the ancient fear of the unknown and it is your first bond with the wilderness you are going into. What you are doing is exploring. You are undertaking the first experience, not of the place, but of yourself in that place. It is an experience of essential loneliness; for nobody can discover the world for anybody else. It is only after we have discovered it for ourselves that it becomes a common ground and bond, and we cease to be alone.” ~Wendell Berry

There is a delight I have found in settling into my place here on the Pride. It is familiar to me, as if I had a history with the boat. Already I breathe long and peacefully, inhaling the smell of the boat as if I had caught scent of my Grandmother's perfume. It is home and these people I work with will become my family. Already I've made my berth a nest of sweaters and foul-weather gear, perched up there I play the same old trinity of loveliness on the dulcimer. The galley is still in semi shambles and I've discovered a massive stock of packaged foods leftover from the provisioning in France. I string together the words and try to guess at the contents. It's all a game and I'm the merry player.